Monday, April 16, 2012

Fooling Yourself

Relationships are funny things. We depend on them for a number of reasons - friendship, love, business, family. They are all important reasons and relationships, but your contribution to them is also a big part of who you are.

I've adopted a "you get what you give," approach to the relationships in my life. There was a time where I tried to be all things to all people and the only thing that did was make me feel like a martyr. I had a self-perceived sense of devotion that wasn't really honest. I was fooling myself that I was being helpful; a dependable friend and loved one who went above and beyond. My new approach may seem a bit selfish; I call it self-preserving.
You can't manipulate or force relationships; they have to come naturally. They either progress and grow or become contrite and stagnant. In the love and friendship arena, when you work so hard to spend time with someone or get them to spend time with you, it feels a bit cloying and manipulative. It's like you assume the other person doesn't get what you are trying to do. When you have this type of relationship to best let things "come what may," even if it's nothing at all. You won't sacrifice too much of yourself or your heart. The relationships will be more honest and better for it in the end.

A friend and I were talking lately about the foundation building of a relationship. If it's not a strong foundation, the relationship won't have much of a leg to stand on. Take stock of the relationships that are important to you. Open your eyes and examine what kind of feelings they stir in you and what you bring to the table. You'll find the ones that "feed the need," in you. You will feel accomplished and satisfied...with love...


Friday, April 13, 2012

Forces Of Nature

Everything happens for a reason. The direction of our lives, the path we choose, the people we let in or out, the decisions we make, are all done with a sense of purpose.
There will be times where we will find success or accomplishment. There will also be times where we will fail. What's important is that you come away from incidents that make you particularly happy or sad, with an understanding.

The understanding is that every experience we have, especially the ones that stand out in our minds, are to teach us something. Try to figure out what the lesson is, absorb it and move on.

Make the effort to stay healthy, in mind and body. Focus on what you have, strengths and weaknesses, that contribute to your life and the lives of those around you. Be conscious of your actions and deeds; treat those around you as you would like to be treated.

The forces of nature, the higher power, whatever they may be, are at work. Pay attention, but follow along...with love...