Monday, August 27, 2012

You Are The Best Thing…

Ever feel like you sell yourself short? That you don’t see the potential or promise that you have on the path before you? Do you believe that you don’t have “what it takes” to offer another? If you answered “no” to these questions, that’s awesome. You already have a level of self-assurance that is very admirable and I’m hoping you are grateful. If you answered “yes,” it’s time to overcome the doubt; it’s time to embrace what some of those around you probably already know.
In someone’s life, you are the best thing that has ever come along. You are the “go-to” person, the one that can be counted on. Maybe they don’t get it yet or maybe you don’t get it yet. I’m fairly certain that there are hints or glimpses of a bond that is forming. Perhaps it’s fear that prevents the progress or the possibilities. It’s time to open your eyes, embrace the chance you have been given. It’s time to recognize that you didn’t even realize what you were looking for until it was right in front of you.
Take a good look at those closest to you. Have you told them lately that you love and appreciate them? Do they know that they can count on you, in good times and bad? Maybe you didn’t realize that you wanted to be “that” person to someone else? It’s not about material things or physical attributes; it’s about honesty and your true self. It’s about being able to enjoy your comforts and offer comfort to whoever you feel needs it. It’s about passion; feeling the burn, stoking the flames, grabbing the love where you find it. Don’t be afraid to speak your mind, take your chance, and say what’s in your heart. Whether it’s reciprocal or not, isn’t it better to let someone know how you feel, right out there on the table before it’s too late? Regret is a bitter pill to swallow, try to move forward without them.
Our hearts are kind and our hearts are strong. They expand to let people and love, in and out. Don’t let fear or uncertainty rule your path. Have faith in yourself; you are the best thing, believe THAT…With love…

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

I’ll Back You Up…

I joke with some of my friends, once in a while, about who I would call in the middle of the night if I needed bail money. If I was stranded somewhere and needed help, who would I reach out to? Are there people in my life that I can call on in a crunch? Are there people that would have a conversation or just listen without judgment or recrimination? Would they be there with a helping hand (or that bail money) just because I asked?
I am working on reclaiming my independence. My life was affected directly and harshly, early on in the economy tanking. Add to that my health issues and I was a sobbing, shaky mess every single day. I lamented and cried on the phone to my friends with the hope of find some solution. I was afraid, I was sick in body, mind and spirit. I was suspicious of everyone and everything. I didn’t feel like I could trust or count on anyone. I got the impression from those closest to me that they just couldn’t listen anymore.
I remember making the decision to pull in, not away. It was time to unburden my friends. It was time to distance myself from this self-pity wallowing that I had bought into. It was time to pull my big girl pants on and try to figure myself and my life out. No one was going to fix anything for me. I needed to weed out the garden of my life and get my act together. I want to live a full, productive life. I want to get past the crappy economy, get out of relationships that have gone stale and stagnant. I want to embrace new experiences, new things and rediscover the people in my life with whom I have a mutually satisfying relationship.
I also want those who love and who have stuck with me to know: I am grateful that you have my back. Through thick and thin, laughter and sobbing, you have listened and loved me. You have offered your opinions when I’ve asked and held back to let me figure things out on my own when I haven’t. You have gone on some of my new adventures and had fun with me. You would answer the phone call in the middle of the night for whatever reason. Of this I am certain and that makes me smile.
I also want them to know that I am there for them too, any time, any place if they need me. We may not see each other all the time, but when we do it’s like it was yesterday, comfortable, special and needed. No matter how busy our lives get, we somehow keep up, keep in touch. We don’t judge or criticize, we offer help and love. We listen and learn, we talk about anything and everything. I would figure out a way to get you that bail money! It doesn’t matter, whatever you do, do as you please, and I’ll back you up…With love…

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Don’t Worry, Be Happy…

Wouldn’t it be great if it were that easy? An imaginary mental switch that we could flip and say, “Be gone, worry, out of my brain! It’s time to let happiness in!” Would it be great to have that switch? I’m not so sure. How would we learn? How would we grow?
I think we need to analyze, briefly, what it is we worry about. I think we can separate our concerns into two categories: things we can fix and things we can’t. Whether it’s related to us or our loved ones, physically, mentally or emotionally, would be subcategories. Can we change the world? Can we forget about our worries? Maybe it’s possible, a little at a time.
If you or someone you love is worried about something in particular, talk about it, briefly or at length, it doesn’t matter. Put it on the table; try to figure it out if you can. If you can’t maybe just saying it out loud will help you ease the mind.
You would be surprised what a calming voice, a concerned ear, a gentle hug, the reaching out of a strong hand can do to relieve something that’s bothering another. Or, maybe you wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe it’s because you have had that voice, or ear or hug or a hand that makes you feel better, stronger, and happier? Maybe it’s time to return the favor? Share information that you have, open the door to a conversation that will enlighten you. It might just relieve the worry from the person you are talking with; help them see a little light at the end of the tunnel. Make them a little, dare I say it, happier?
I don’t think that we can ever let go of worry. It’s going to affect us and just about every aspect of our lives. How we handle it is the key. In every life we have some trouble, worrying about it is probably making it bigger than it seems or needs to be. There are many of us that walk around with a smile on our face, working hard to hide the fear and worry that feels very strong at times. Sometimes we are successful, other times, not so much.
I’m not saying that you have to share everything with everybody. Or that you should never be worried. There are some things that are taken care of by good old fashioned solitude and figuring it out in your own head. Pulling back, not away is just fine. But if you get a sense that someone needs you, just for a little while, because they are worried or scared, be not afraid, reach out…With love…

Monday, August 13, 2012

Better Make It Through Today…

In my previous post I mentioned my tarot card reading. I realize that generalities can be applied to specifics in everything we do or say, coincidence or not. If we hear or see something we can make it “fit” to a situation or occurrence in our own lives.
One of the things we talked about was living for the moment. I should try to live for today instead of always planning or waiting for the future. That as long as I woke up in the morning, I had today, tomorrow is not guaranteed.  I’m working towards the understanding of this fact.
I have always been a planner, motivator, caretaker who works very hard to stay out of the way of pain or harm. I tried to protect myself and my children from meanness and hurtfulness. I sometimes think that I have done us all a bit of disservice; it’s not possible to have someone take care of you or protect you all the time. This is something that you need to learn on your own. If you don’t learn to deal with mean or unfriendly people, you can be easily taken advantage of. By the same principle, if you depend on others for your happiness, you are more likely to be really disappointed.
I have discovered that I don’t need to take care of anyone but myself and my kids. I don’t want or need someone to take care of me; I am stronger and more resilient than I believed. I am in a period of regrowth and it’s about time. I will continue to learn to count the blessings that I have and let tomorrow come, without worry or self-doubt. There are those who will be on this ride of life with me, I welcome them with open arms. There are those who won’t and it’s ok; we are on different paths.
Life is what you make it, good or bad. Whether you have many or few, people who love and care about you, who are real and honest, are the most valuable assets you have. The number doesn’t matter as long as you are aware of who you can count on and trust.
We have all had our share of troubles, everyone does. It’s better to make it through today, hope for tomorrow and live a life you like…With love…

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Sail Away…

Wouldn’t it be nice, once in a while, if we could actually go where our imagination takes us? Maybe it would be somewhere that you have never been before. It could be someplace that you have been and would love to revisit. I truly believe that it’s possible to have our dreams and visions become a reality.
I recently had a tarot card reading. Now, I’m not normally a person who believes in this sort of stuff. I was introduced to the reader by a friend who described him as a visionary. He was a wonderful, smart, funny man and he was actually coming to give our mutual friend a card reading. Before he got started with her, he said, “When I’m done, I’d like to do a short reading for you. I have some things to tell you.”
One of the things that stood out is when he asked me if I meditated. I told him that it was a recent practice I had adopted to help me start and end my day. He asked me, “Where do you go when you meditate?” Where do I go? What? I told him that I generally have to really concentrate on my breathing, just to let go of my whirring brain. It takes a lot of work to get to that place where my mind is clear; focusing on the breathing seemed to help me get there. He said that he felt that when I was meditating, my mind and spirit was actually going to play, to relax and have fun. He said that I should concentrate on that and perhaps I would understand my thought process and life journey a little more.
So that evening I thought I would try to use my imagination. Maybe if I tried to open my brain and think about somewhere or something pleasurable, it would make my meditation easier, to help me relax. Meditation shouldn’t be such hard work! It’s supposed to ease your mind, not scare or frustrate you because it’s time to try to clear your head.
So now, I look forward to those 10 minutes before and after my busy day even more. I close my eyes, begin my breathing and let my imagination be free. My favorite place to go is a beach, where the sky and the water are almost the same bright blue. The sun is shining; the sand is white and warm. I am alone and I am at peace. I feel strong and safe, happy. I have my own heart in my own hands, protected and ready for whatever comes my way. When I’m finished, it’s amazing to me how hopeful I feel about the day ahead or how restful I sleep.
There isn’t always an explanation for the way some people are or the things that they do. All I can do is explain the way that I feel inside and how I get there. Take some time for you at the beginning or the end of your day, or both. Sail away on your ship of dreams, your imagination, find the place that makes you happy and at peace. I will be on that beach of my dreams for real again someday, basking in the warmth and happiness that I deserve. You can too. Dreams to reality, what a concept…With love…

Friday, August 3, 2012

What’s Been Going On…

I’m expanding my horizons. I’m trying out some new things.  Guitar playing, (using the term playing rather loosely here,) cooking a little more adventurously, reading new things, (other than guilty-pleasure fiction,) exercising more, eating less, expanding and embracing relationships that I am enjoying, releasing and getting over the ones that I’m not. I’m not trying to set hard and fast rules to live by here, just trying to work on what’s best for me. I am feeling a little more peace every single day. We are all works in progress.
My relationships are changing, some are growing and some are not. The ones that are growing feel comfortable and easy, like the progressive pattern it should be. The ones that aren’t are getting easier to let go of; I can’t save anyone but myself.  I’m sad, especially when I have tried what feels like every single thing and still it doesn’t work out. It takes more than one person to have a relationship. Sometimes, you don’t even realize when you are out, or if you do, you ignore it in the hopes that this too shall pass. There are those in my life that depend that someone else will take care of the problem or issue. It’s time to stand on your own two feet.
The bottom line is that I’m living a life for me. It doesn’t mean that I’m not content with the many gifts I have been given. I used to see things very rigidly, black and white, cut and dry. Inflexibility wasn’t working; I had to find a happy medium. Expanding your heart and mind to let things in and out is what we should be doing. This will help us feel a measure of success, a bit of happiness, and some peace.
What’s been going on with you? Are you taking good care of yourself? Are you expanding your interests, trying new things? Fear is something that can hold you back from doing what you want to. It’s time to let go of the fear and embrace the goodness that you can feel with your eyes wide open. I am who I am, inside and out, growing and learning every day. You’ll find self-acceptance is what is most important to live a full, productive life.
Someday you might find me, sitting in my favorite bar, playing my guitar (HA!) or at the very least, listening to someone sing my words. I’ll have stars in my eyes and freedom in my heart. I’m a dreamer working on living in the present. Dream a little dream for yourself once in a while, if you’re lucky, it just might come true…With love…