I Should Have Known…

Actions speak louder than words. This is a simple statement that is very true. You can talk, talk, explain, scream, whine, whisper, talk, yell, talk, shriek, and talk all you want, and about anything you want. If you don’t back up all that with what you actually do, you are wasting breath that you will need at the end of this life.

I am a talker, working on being a doer. I am a planner, self-prophesier that needs to be more grounded and in the moment. While it’s good that I have a vision, a path, a purpose, it’s becoming more apparent that it’s time to put up or shut up. Make the move while I have the chance. It’s time to do what I say I’m going to; time to release the fear and frustration.

I am aware that I need to pay more attention to the actions of myself and those in my life. I often depend that what is said in a conversation, discussion, argument, or fight, is what will happen or be resolved and is true. I wonder if my reaction or response is what causes the confusion or inaction? Is it something I said? Is it something I did? I have control of my word and deed; I have control of my reaction. Can I prompt or suggest an action with what I say? Of course I can, we all can and do.

Maybe I don’t listen closely enough? Perhaps I hear what I want to? Sometimes, to be certain, but most of the time I am listening and hearing. It might be that my brain hears what’s actually said, but my heart has a different interpretation or doesn’t listen at all. I think there are times that it hurts to hear the truth, however, honesty should be the best policy.

Mixed signals are something that I need to be aware of, both on the giving and receiving end. My interest or lack thereof, needs to be clear. I need to put my toe into the water to test before jumping in and getting soaked or nearly drowning. I’m writing in a metaphor, of course, but one that fits this subject appropriately. Have you ever felt that you are not listening or not being heard?

I should have known that I’ve been here before. I should have known that I don’t want it anymore. There are lessons in life that are worth repeating and there are those that shouldn’t be repeated. One thing is for certain, I will protect my heart, pride and strength with everything I’ve got. I will persevere and grow in this life, my life…Is it time for you to do the same?...With love…