Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Pretender

2013 has blown in with its challenges, same as always. Maybe not the same challenges, per se, but with a whole set of new ones to face, head on, moving forward.

Did I expect things to be different? To be easier? To be gifted with a "clean" slate. Not really, but I hoped that life in general would take things a bit more gently with me and those around me that I love and care about. So far? Not so much.

It takes a very conscious effort to work through each day, no matter what happens, with a positive attitude and outlook. Some days it's definitely easier; I adopt a "devil may care" attitude. That doesn't mean that I don't care, it just means that I can't solve every problem or situation that comes my way and I accept that, albeit kicking and screaming.

Some days it's almost impossible; I feel a great amount of sadness and despair. For things that have happened, for decisions that I should have made, yada, yada, yada, blah, blah, blah! I say almost impossible because it's not the whole day. It's part of the day where I may rant and rave like a total lunatic, either out loud or in my head. It's part of the day that I might cry like a baby, with or without the lunacy.

After that part is over, with a sweaty brow and/or red eyes, I push through. I put a smile on my face or I just get quiet and move along. I will put some music on, depending on my mood, and just listen and breathe. I work it out.

Whether I am posting on Facebook, writing my blog, composing an e-mail or even sending a text, I try to be truthful and compassionate, even when I'm crabby. I am not a pretender, I'm just someone who hopes that if I can help myself with the words that I write, they might make a difference to those who read them. We can identify with each other. Maybe share a laugh or a smile. I see the good. I want the good for myself and everyone around me.

A smile can be hiding a whole load of problems that don't necessarily have to be shared, and that's OK. We are very different from each other, but share similiarities. We need to be nicer to each other. We don't know what's happening in the lives of those we care about all the time. We are all working on just living each day with a sense of gratitude and survival.

I am unique, not like the others. I will never surrender; that means giving up and that's not happening. We help each other or at least we should, to grow, to learn, to enjoy and LIVE this life that is so short. They say you only live once, don't you think we should do our best to make it count? With love...

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