Every Teardrop...

…is a waterfall. There are days that are very overwhelming. It’s difficult to keep moving forward, to stay positive, no matter how hard you try. It takes a lot of work to get through and past these bad days. They seem completely unbearable and can be spirit crushing.

Alternately, it could be a small thing that sets you off, turns the tide, or pushes you in another direction. It seems like some force or forces are working against you in every possible area in your life. Everyone has days like I am talking about; you keep taking stuff in, trying to figure it out, nothing is working – it’s exhausting. You keep fighting back tears, trying not to get overwhelmed, and it’s impossible.

That’s when to have a good cry, and it’s more than okay. One of those blubbery, can’t talk, sobbing, hard to breathe, cleansing cries. It doesn’t really matter what it is that brings it on; that’s personal. What matters is that you let it come. The most important thing is to take the few minutes and let it all out. Sob away; let all that pain, sadness, and fear – go. Cry your eyes out, and wallow in that self pity that belongs only to you at that minute. Let it flow out with every blow of your nose. Alone or with a friend, the relief that you feel at the end is exuberating, liberating, and freeing. It’s not limited to the female humans either; something tells me that men could use a good cry sometimes, too.

When you are finished (you will know when you have had enough), dry your face, take a few deep breaths, remember why you are here, and move on. You will probably feel a little tired and wrung out, look a little blotchy and puffy, but you will likely feel a whole lot of relief too. Shedding those tears and letting go of the burden will help you to regenerate that positivity and help you continue on your path.

 I have indulged myself in a good cry a little more often than usual lately. I am working hard, taking care of my kids, myself, and trying to get through what the world around me is dishing out. I have plans, dreams, and goals that I have set for myself and my future that are worth the pain that I experience. The pain is part of the growing process.  Let the water fall…you might actually be glad that you did…with love…

A Moment...

...changes everything.  A flash, a fleeting, brief instant where you have a choice to make, and you go with your instinct. That moment seems quick and painless, most of the time. The repercussions of that small measure of time can be minor, or it can be huge. You can’t predict the outcome – good or bad.

It takes a moment to make someone smile or cry. A moment to decide – are you in or out? A moment is an opportunity to make the choice to forgive and forget. It’s a split second that can change the direction or the course of your day or your life.  There can be a thought process that has weighed heavily on your mind until you get to the moment. It can be something that comes up and you don’t have the luxury of time to think about it, you just do it. Impulsive or contemplated, those moments are important, and I need to be more conscious of them.

Sometimes, it seems like we have plenty of those fragments of life, of choice; at other times, they seem very fleeting and precious. We should try not to take them for granted. There are moments to enjoy, and there are some we regret. There are times where we wish we could have a “do over,” take a different direction. We can’t get them back, but there are generally more right around the corner.

Take a chance, take that moment, and run with it. Make the choice, and try to live without regrets. A moment changes everything…or nothing…with love.

When Love Takes Over…

…you know you can’t deny. When I started blogging, a lot of things were happening in my personal life. At first, I thought that writing a blog would be easy. I loved writing; thoughts and ideas spilled out of my brain and onto the page.  I soon discovered that it wasn’t so easy after all. Work, family, friends, life in general was so busy – to the point of being overwhelming…There’s no time! I am going to make a conscious effort to find the time. I have discovered that people like to read what I have to say, and that makes it important for me to find that time. It also does a great deal for my psyche, another important element that I need.

It seems that everyone around me has been affected by hard times, economically, personally and socially. It’s really tough to “make” it in the world today.  I work hard to find the good in myself and others to get through each day, wading through a lot of crap at times. It’s necessary to put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes it feels like I’m plodding along, carrying great weight. Other days, it feels like I am skipping through, weightless and carefree…There really ARE days like that. I need to find more of them. Even when things seem like they can’t get any worse (or any better for that matter), love seems to take over and help you find a way.

There IS love all around us. The most obvious comes from our friends and families, but there is love in people and places that you might not regularly consider. For instance, you are traveling past someone’s home, and you notice their beautiful garden. There lives a person who has a love of gardening and they took the time to plant for their enjoyment and the enjoyment of others. Look around; notice the beauty of nature.

Think about when you are riding along, listening to the radio and your favorite song comes on. The artist’s love of music (lessons taken, hours of practice and dedication) inspired that musician to write the lyrics, play the notes, and compose the melody.  You know it, that song that brings a smile to your face and transports you to a time when life was good. It sparks a memory that brings you pleasure. Turn on the radio today. Listen to the music.

When you are eating a meal, whether at a restaurant, at the home of a friend, or even if you prepared it yourself, it’s the love of cooking (and eating,) that brings out the flavors and colors in the dish. Enjoy your lunch or dinner today. Take the time to really taste your food, and remind yourself of the nourishment it is bringing to your body. I could go on and on…but you get the idea, right?

When your heart feels heavy and the burden seems too much to bear, remind yourself of the love in your life. Let it take over your mind and spirit…Just for a little while, don’t deny yourself the pleasure. Look for it, you’ll find it…Relish in it…It’s there for all of us. Take care, my friends…Until next time…With love.

I'm Back...

...in the saddle again. I took a break for a bit...now I'm ready to write again...I mean, publish my writing again...I have continued to write...always...a passion.

I will be posting regularly starting next week...I appreciate all who follow my blog...I also appreciate you wondering where I've been...I am working on a couple of projects...I will have lots to share soon.

In the meantime...I would just like to say that while I write about personal experiences, they aren't directed at or about any one person, place or thing. I am writing about my feelings, thoughts and encounters. When I write, I hope that those who read come away with a sense of positive encouragement.

That's why I write...to achieve personal satisfaction and to encourage or inspire those around me. That's it. Simple. It's not necessary to read between the lines...I am pretty straightforward and I think that I have good communication skills. I would like everyone to keep looking for more...keep growing in your life...that's why we are here.

Thank you for listening...living life as an optimist...what a concept...with love.

The Things We Do...

...for love.  A friend of mine used this statement in a casual conversation on the phone. As we hung up, I thought it would be a good topic for me to write about. We all do a lot of things for love. When I say “for love,” I mean to generate loving feelings that are both given and received. These are some of the things that I personally do for love.

Cook. I love to cook. I make things from recipes I learned when I was young. I have improved or personalized them over the years.  I try new recipes, not too often, but if I see or taste something good, I am willing to take a shot at preparation. I get pleasure from the end result. Friends and family sitting around my kitchen table, outside on my deck, in my garage party room, sharing food that I have prepared. It’s a good reason to bring friends and family together. I also make sure to bring something when I am invited out for a meal or a visit. I enjoy having a bit of my personality on the table.  I cook and entertain for love.

Talk. I love to talk. I talk about everything, life, kids, jobs, families, partners, music, movies, TV, the weather. I like to talk to people I have known for a long time. They know me; they listen to me – even when I am long-winded and detailed. They know that I listen, too. I have a good ear and will offer an opinion if you ask for one and sometimes when you don’t.  I like to talk to people that I haven’t seen or talked to in awhile. I love those long “catch-up” conversations, finding out what you have been up to, how your life is going, what’s new, what’s old, etc. It’s fun to get to know new people, too. We meet people every day in our lives.  Sharing interests, information, opinions expands your life and its horizons. You learn something new from people in your life every day. A continuous, informative education is awesome. I talk and listen for love.

Write. I love to write.  I started blogging to feed a need within me.  I have been told several times in my life that I should “write a book.” I have had friends buy me books on writing books. I have several ideas that I am working on at the same time. All of my ideas come from journaling that I have done for the past 3 years. When I have a conversation or read something that sparks a topic, I go back over my journals and pick out things that I have written that pertain to the subject. The response and support I have received is amazing to me, especially from people who don’t know me personally but are reading my written word. Their enthusiasm and messages do a lot for my spirit. I am blogging to share my ideas and thoughts with other intelligent people who care to read.  I am trying to live my life in a more positive manner, and if my writing can help someone else do the same, that is awesome. The people that know me personally seem to be looking for a message that is somehow directed toward them. They wonder, “Is she writing this about me?” or “She must be writing this about me!” Rest assured, my friends, I am writing about ME. I write my blog for love.

What are some of the things that you do for love? How do you incorporate love or positive feelings in your life? Do you think that this is something that should be a priority – generating good feeling between you and others? Think about it...comment…send me a message…with love.

I Get By With A Little Help…

...from my friends. Friendship: a topic that I feel needs some clarification and definition. There are many “tiers” of friendship in our lives. Now, I don’t mean that in an offensive way, but in a descriptive manner. There are people that are your friends for different lengths of time; you meet people in any number of ways during your life. You feel a variable degree of closeness to your friends.  Honorable, loyal, trustworthy, dedicated, loving, honest, these are some words that I would use to describe many of my friends. I believe that I am a good friend; at least I maintain quite a few friendships that enrich my life. I know that I have mentioned before that it’s not necessarily the quantity but the quality of these relationships that is most important. The payoff for you, the work you put in being a friend to someone or having friends in your life, is well worth it.

Childhood Or Long-Time Friends- These are friends that I have known for years. Our friendships were formed when our adulthood was being formed. They are people that are either a part of my daily life or we make an effort to keep in touch relatively often. If we haven’t spoken in months, when we pick up the phone to call, it’s like we talked yesterday. We can laugh about the same stories or events that happened when we were 12 or when we were 40. We can cry about things that have happened in our lifetime together that others may understand or that only these friends understand. They’re willing to listen to my troubles and celebrate my accomplishments. They often advise and encourage me, even when I haven’t asked for it. They put me in my place when necessary and allow me to have the same luxury with them. They know where the bodies are buried and have bail money if you need it. They have watched out for you in all kinds of situations as you have for them. Some of them aren’t here with us anymore, but they are watching over us always. There are those that I have maintained relationships with my whole life. There are also those that I have been blessed to reconnect with on Facebook. Either way, they inspire me, remind me of where I have been and where I have yet to go.

Work Friends- These are people that I currently work with, have worked with, keep in touch with or maybe not. Besides sleeping, when you are employed full-time, you spend more time with your co-workers, than you do with a significant other. 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. They put up with your moods – good or bad, and they expect you to do the same for them. Sometimes you have dinner or see a movie outside of work; sometimes you don’t. You spend a lot of time making plans to do stuff, but nothing ever materializes. Not for lack of trying or planning, I think things tend to fizzle out because of all the time you already spend together. Some days, you can’t imagine your life without them. Other days, you can’t wait to get away from them. Every day, you see them and you adjust. I have good people that I currently work with. I have good people that I used to work with. When I think of them and the time we spent together, it makes me smile. I miss them. I look forward to seeing my current co-workers and miss them if they aren’t around for a spell. It’s good to work with intelligent people who live a variety of lifestyles. Our diversity makes us interesting and helps us grow.

Frenemies- You know who they are; we all have them. They are people who are in your life for necessity. You may have started out as friends, but events or one particular incident may have occurred to help you realize, “Whoa, wait a second!” They might be friends or relatives of a close friend. They might be someone that you work with. They might even be a relative of yours. In any case, these are people that, for whatever reason, are necessary in your life that you can’t get rid of. You have to deal with them. If they are doing you harm on a regular basis, mentally or emotionally, I’m not suggesting that you suffer through it. Those would be relationships that are too toxic to maintain and you should jettison from your life. I’m talking about playing well with others. Smiling and being social, but watching your back and their steps. I have often made the mistake of thinking that someone is my friend. I have been slapped right in the face with the reality of the situation. Again, a growth and learning process – keep your friends close, but your frenemies closer; they will do you more harm than a known enemy if you let them. Protect yourself, your feelings, your loving nature, and your heart.

My Girls- I have several groups of girlfriends. We are grouped together for many different reasons. There are my “Mom” friends. These would be the mothers of my children’s friends, women who I have a connection with because we were planning and organizing the lives of our kids. Once our kids grew up, some of these relationships did too. What is sad is that there were women I thought were really my friends. But our kids grew up and apart, then so did we. I guess all we really had in common was our children. I didn’t think so at the time, but I have since learned better.

There are my “Christmas/Pool Party” friends. These are the gals that I have been spending the first Saturday of December and the second Saturday after July 4^th with for 20+ years. There was a base group of girls that have been together since they were young kids that has morphed over the years into something awesome. Some have come and gone; this group is not for the faint-hearted! During the 12-24 hours that we spend together twice a year, we are generally laughing, talking, drinking, eating, dancing, singing and cultivating this bond of friendship. I see some of these 16 or so girls at other times during the year, but nothing beats these two occasions. I can’t imagine myself anywhere else or with anybody else on those days. These times are the highlight of my year.

There are my “girlfriends.” These are women who could fit into any of the categories I have previously discussed at any given time but are different too. Our relationships ebb and flow with continuity I am grateful for. We talk often and listen to each other. When times are good or bad or when we are happy or sad, there is always an ear to listen and sympathize. There is a kick in the butt when you need it or a hug when that kick doesn’t seem to be working.  They are gals that I can call in advance or at the last minute for a movie, a drink, dinner, a visit, whatever strikes our fancy. We have lots in common and are different too. It’s the commonality and diversity that keeps things interesting. There are a few that I am very, very close to. They understand me sometimes better than I understand myself. They offer a clarity that comes from both the outside and inside. They know me.

Facebook Friends- These would be your social network friends. They may be people that you actually know or only know on Facebook. If you have someone or something to promote, these friends will help you. If you post a status or music about how you are feeling or how your day is going, some will like it. They may even comment on it. They live in other states, other countries even, but are checking often to see how their friends or connections are doing. Thanks to my virtual event, my Facebook friends are growing. It is amazing to me the compassion and the caring that has flowed across the lines. The sharing of information about different topics and our lives has been very fulfilling and educational. It is helping me grow both as a person and as a friend. What did we all do before Facebook?

Friendship. It’s a gift that keeps on giving. It’s wonderful to reach out and have someone there for you when you do. It’s also wonderful to be the person who is needed. As human beings, we interact with each other every single day of our lives. It’s the way you choose to relate that helps others learn about you and your interests. Friends are precious…keep them close to your heart…with love.

What Goes Around…

...comes around.  I have been rolling it around in my head for awhile. It’s a phrase that has been used in a few conversations I have had recently.  I realized that it’s necessary for me to pay closer attention to this statement and its meaning.

What Goes Around Comes Around. It seemed like this phrase had been used frequently when people feel that they have been “done wrong.” Someone may have hurt or maligned you in any number of ways and this statement came to your mind, like a “payback.” Did you really wish the pain you are feeling – intentionally or unintentionally – on the person who had caused you pain? I have wondered how often this thought came to your mind when something good happened for you.  Something told me, based on my recent experience, not too often.

When you have been hurt by someone or something in your life, the most important healing needs to come from within you. If this phrase is to be taken literally, any bad or payback thoughts could come back to you tenfold. Conversely, if you have this thought when something good happens for you, the same could happen. Isn’t it better to think that, if it’s true, you would be happier having good things come around for you more often?

Do Unto Others. When you do something for a friend or loved one in your life, you should do it because you want to. It is difficult for me, at times, not to expect something in return. I try not to live by a “one hand washes the other,” mentality, but it’s very hard. I want to “save” a lot of people. Who do I think I am? I don’t have that capability or power! I think this type of behavior comes from early on in my life. I didn’t feel protected or secure in my younger years, so I want to be sure that no one else feels that way now. I am working on showing more empathy, but not taking on the problems of others.

It is important to treat people how you want to be treated. It’s not always going to turn out in your favor. Be kind, listen to your loved ones, really HEAR what they are saying or feeling. I don’t think we mean to intentionally hurt the feelings of others; it happens. I would like to believe that we aren’t walking around being purposefully cruel or mean, but it does feel that way sometimes.

If someone says, “You hurt my feelings when (fill in the blank),” they are looking for validation from you.  Not necessarily an explanation of why or a statement in your defense, just validation. Here are two types of acknowledgments to that statement: “I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt.” Or “I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings.” Can you see the difference? If someone has worked up the courage (and it can be very hard,) to call you out on how they have been treated by you, it is your job to listen and respond. This can definitely be their perception of an issue or incident and you might not agree. But in this conversation, we aren’t talking about you; we are talking about the other person. Say that you are sorry. That’s all. Sometimes, you will be on the receiving end. If someone has hurt you, let them know, especially if it is difficult for you to let it go. If you don’t, this could irreparably damage your relationship. You want to encourage the growth and nurturing process.

Let’s hope that by treating others as you would like to be treated, many good things will come around for you. Open your mind and your heart...your spirit free and unencumbered…it will keep you and your life focused and filled…with love.